Episode 8: The Breakdown and Finding Meditation

The benefits of meditation and mindfulness are undeniable. But it wasn't until a night in my hotel room after a speaking engagement that I came face to face with the desperate need to calm myself down as I neared a panic attack. 

This episode talks about the night I was introduced to meditation, the science behind the practice and how two years later it is part of my daily routine to stay balanced and at peace.

Transcript

Podcast 8: Learning to Quiet Your Mind

Intro and Story 1

Today I want to talk about learning to quiet our minds. I want to share the story as to how I got into meditation and how it has helped me find my inner peace.

I was given an incredible opportunity to speak at a conference in Vancouver. I feel I am a natural when it comes to speaking. 

I prepared diligently and I knew my topic inside out. 

I was on the agenda with some pretty heavy hitters, including a former aide to the Prince of Whales. I was confident though, and I knew this was the next step towards my career aspirations.

Emotionally, it had been about a year since I had gone through a tough divorce, and there were still many adjustments taking place. 

I delivered my presentation with extremely positive reviews and I celebrated with dinner with some of the other speakers. 

Once I returned to my hotel, I checked emails and began to see email after email from my ex, bombarding me with accusations making me feel like I was a lousy mother.

I went into panic mode. I started building stories in my head and the anxiety and fear became uncontrollable. I was having a panic attack.

I had read about panic attacks and seen my clients experience them when I was a social worker. 

I was miles away from home, with no support system near me, and in a time zone that made it prohibitive for me to reach out. I also didn’t want to worry my family and friends.

I frantically tried to figure out what to do. I turned on my phone and searched for “meditation” on Spotify. 

I found a gratitude meditation from Kenneth Soares - who I now follow and am a big fan of his work - I will place a link on the Feisty Mermaids blog to his YouTube page so you can check it out.

His fifteen minute guided meditation gave me something to focus on, other than my emotions and my negative thoughts. 

I felt my blood pressure come down and I started to think about the things that are going well in my life - just being thankful for my ability to breathe at that moment was comforting. 

From that day on, I started practicing guided meditations a few times a day with content I find on YouTube, Spotify and the Calm app.

I can tell you that my life has changed. Meditation helps me to no longer get anxious or fearful about the future, or have regrets or guilt about the past. 

I am learning to identify the feelings that may arise and to be mindful of my thoughts. I am learning to see things for what they are, and not what I think they ought to be. 

Research

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness. 

Having practiced yoga for more than 15 years, I’ve always heard instructors talk about meditation. 

I did a little research on the topic, and indeed, Harvard researchers state that in the mid to late 90s, there was only one research study done on the topic. Whereas from 2013-2015 there were 216 research studies about the benefits of meditation.

One thing to point out is that some studies out there are too small to be deemed statistically significant. 

But overall, the benefits of meditation and mindfulness are undeniable. 

I visited Mindful.org, a magazine and community dedicated to sharing the gifts of mindfulness - and they sifted through the existing research and found several areas where meditation is of benefit. 

I’ll post a link to my blog, but here are my 4 main takeaways and my personal experience with each:

1. Meditation sharpens your attention - I’ve seen a tremendous increase in my focus for each task I engage in when I meditate consistently. Because I have seen the benefits, I encouraged a friend to take up mediation as he was considering taking ADHD medication to help him focus while studying. I don’t think the idea was well received, so I am careful about suggesting this as it is not for everyone. 

1. Meditation increases resilience to stress and improves mental health - I’ve noticed that things that once bothered me or sent me into a negative emotional state now seem to just flow. I am able to pause, feel, and not react. I take situations as they come and I don’t allow a feeling to become an emotion that takes over. Disney movie Inside out.

1. Meditation has a positive impact on relationships - I’ve been teaching my daughter to do an evening meditation with me as part of our bedtime routine. She wasn’t thrilled at first, but now she asks for it each night. I notice we are both calmer and more relaxed, and are able to be more wholehearted towards each other.

1. Meditation reduces biases - Meditation has taught me to be less judgemental towards people and situations. It’s taught me that I don’t know the whole story and therefore should not make assumptions and create negative thoughts. I’ve learned we each have a path and that I don’t need to agree or disagree with people’s choices or decisions, I simply need to let them follow their path.

1. Meditation increases compassion - Meditation has helped me see the light in myself and the light in others. It’s helped me to be kind, forgiving and to honor where we all are on our journeys. It’s helped me to have a different lens on life, by believing that people are coming from a good place, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Closing

The night I almost had a breakdown taught me a very valuable lesson. 

I now see that I’m the one with the power to live my life the way I want to. 

I can choose my thoughts, which drive the emotions and reactions I have to a situation. 

Meditation is the tool that’s helped me find my center and peace, and based on the feedback I’ve had from my listeners and readers, I’m guessing I am not alone. 

So I will leave you with this quote, “Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.”

Thank you for listening. I’d love to hear from you and your meditation journey. Reach me on social media @FeistyMermaids and on my site feistymermaids.com

See you next time