Hi and welcome to Feisty Mermaids, if you are joining us for the first time, this is a place where we explore topics to help you unleash the power of the mermaid within. We talk about self-love, mindfulness, relationships and the roadblocks which often stop us from being limitless.
In today’s topic we are going to talk about finding purpose. We often hear and read of people who are living an incredible life because they found and are living with purpose. For years I’ve asked myself what is my purpose and I couldn’t figure it out. I started believing that maybe I would never find my purpose, even though I was so desperately searching. I could not have been more wrong, it turns out I just needed to pay attention. So today, I’ll share with you seven steps to get you started on the road to finding your purpose.
Join me as we talk about creating a life filled purpose and get you thinking about the age old question, what is the meaning of life? - here on Feisty Mermaids!
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About three years ago I started to think and reflect about my purpose in life. Having worked in corporate for years, I had been part of many iterations of developing the company’s purpose. I was good at taking the mechanics of the products and services and developing a compelling narrative for why people should become a customer.
Yet here I was, feeling like my life was meaningless. Surely there was more to life than working 9 to 5. I felt I had reached a plateau with my company in terms of progression, so it was up to me to define where I wanted to take my life and what meaning I would give it.
I remembered why I chose social work as my career and reflected on the journey that brought me to the present moment. I started feeling like I was going through the motions of life and I didn’t want to become a robot, only to look back in my life and know I could have done and been so much more.
I remembered the words my dear friend Bob and I exchanged before jumping off the plane on our first skydive, “no regrets.”
So I started journaling and listing out the things I was passionate about and the things I was good at. I wrote down the things that set me aside from everyone else, and the things that moved my soul to dance.
This exercise took a few years, and over time I started to see patterns. For me it was about helping others, being a storyteller, a childhood passion to design and my love for the ocean. I think you may see where I am going with this, and I’ll share how I started bringing it all to life, but first let’s talk about the research behind having a purpose.
In 2019 researchers looked at data for more than 7,000 Americans aged 51-61. They were shocked to find that those who reported having a life filled with purpose were less likely to die than those who reported the opposite. What was also perplexing was the fact that those who didn’t report a purposeful life were specifically likely to die of cardiovascular disease.
People without a purpose were two times more likely to die during the 4 year span of the study. And this correlation remained true despite income, race, gender or education level.
Dr. Alan Razanski, professor at Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sanai - who was part of the research team, states that the need for meaning and purpose is the number 1 driver of wellbeing.
If you want to get a gauge to your life purpose, I found an online quiz by author, speaker and podcaster Jan L. Bowen. https://janlbowen.com/purposequiz/ I’ll make sure I put the link in my blog at feistymermaids.com.
The quiz won’t help you find your purpose, but it will point out areas that may be preventing you from claiming your purpose. It’s a short quiz and you’ll get a PDF in your inbox with the results along with an array of tools to help you remove the internal roadblocks holding you back.
I found quite a few articles online giving steps to help you find your purpose, I’ll put the links on the blog, but for me the journey to finding my purpose has developed organically by reflecting and looking inwards. It is a process I have come to learn is constantly evolving and changing. However, here are my seven takeaways:
- Explore your interests, passions and things you love to do - Pay attention to the things that excite you and bring about passion, they are not random, they are your calling. When I read the book “Play” from Dr. Stewart Brown, he said you need to look at how and what you played with when you were a child, especially between the ages of 7-10. He says it is an indication where your passion lies. In the Feisty Mermaids blog I talk about my passion towards designing clothes at this age and how I’ve pursued it as part of my brand.
- Read - reading connects us to people we will never know across time and space. Research says reading connects you to meaning and purpose.
- Explore injustices that bother you - Is there anything that makes you deeply unhappy or brothers you to the core? I am often vocal about injustices I’ve seen and experienced. Through my brand, I am working towards creating awareness about ocean conservation and women and girl issues. More deeply, having gone through the experience of a difficult divorce with a challenging co-parent, I am exploring how to help women in the same situation and make parenting coordination services available regardless of income.
- Turn hurt into healing for others - Finding purpose is something you need to feel, which is why suffering often leads to growth. It can be your own experience or someone else's that helps you find purpose. But taking that pain and empathy can help you find purpose.
- Awe, Gratitude and altruism - There are emotions that foster health and wellbeing, especially awe, gratitude and altruism. I’ve spoken before about how gratitude helped me find my peace and center, but when we are in awe, we have a sense of being part of something bigger than ourselves. Awe is the emotional foundation for a sense of purpose. Now tying that in to gratitude for me has allowed me to appreciate everything in my life which has led me to altruism, to giving to others and contributing to a world beyond myself. I want to help create a better world and always leave things better than I found them.
- Listen to what people say they appreciate about you - People will often pay you compliments or highlight something you are good at. Keep a list of these things and start to notice patterns. You may not see a quality that others see, this may help highlight your purpose. I’ve often had people highlight my ability to communicate to large groups and to inspire them to action - for a long time I ignored that feedback, and now I see it’s a gift and part of my purpose.
- Tell your story - A study from 2008 found that those who see meaning and purpose in their lives were able to tell a story of change and growth. By telling our narrative about how we managed to overcome obstacles and barriers we begin to see our strengths and find ways to make a difference in the world - which drives purpose.
After years of searching for my purpose, I can say that I finally feel I am getting there. I was scared of taking the first step, and quite honestly I didn’t even know how to get started.
It was a conversation with my best friend where she shared the story of her uncle launching a juicing business because of his passion for health and nutrition that made me think. I didn’t want to look back in my life and wonder what if I’d had the courage to go after my purpose. How different my life would be? and how many people could I have touched? I don’t want to die with that regret.
For me, I started writing, then I launched a blog website, and that evolved into a podcast and clothing line. I didn’t really have a plan, but felt driven by my purpose.
I’m still learning and finding my way. But I can tell you that when I get a note of feedback, whether from a reader, listener or customer it is like a compass guiding me north. My purpose may change and evolve overtime. Nothing in life is static, and my purpose may become much bigger than I ever dreamed of.
Tell me about your purpose. Have you found it? Are you searching? Or have you gotten so caught up in daily life that you haven’t thought about it? Let me know. You can reach me on social media @FeistyMermaids on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Don’t forget to visit and subscribe to my website for the latest blogs, podcasts and clothes at feistymermaids.com
For now, I will leave you with this quote from Ruben Chavez:
“Pay attention to the things you are naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them.”
Thank you for being here. See you next time.